Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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