Where is the hickey?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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