Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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