I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
