So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
