Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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