I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
