i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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