you mean i was at the winter classic?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
