I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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