her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
