oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
