**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
