New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i will never coherently bang her
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
