You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
