also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
