GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
