Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
