hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
