The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize