He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
