it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
