I hate your face
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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