You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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