somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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