I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
