super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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