My hand turned me down
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
