Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
