Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Randomize
