She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
