No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
