the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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