no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
