One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
false alarm. still invincible.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
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we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
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You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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