i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
