Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
