i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
