3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
