Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
