make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
