I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
