i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
tell me about the eggs
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
