gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
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