I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You may now shotgun with the bride
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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