Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
a search helicopter?!
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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