Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
