Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
