i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Can you bring me the toilet please
It's shark week go big or go home
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
