I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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