3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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