Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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