well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
