Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize