i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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