Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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