its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
