oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
