This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
