sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
