So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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