Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
