loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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