Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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