You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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