1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
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