drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
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Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
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Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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