i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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